Friday, 25 December 2009

Seasons Report From NORAD

NORAD didn't disappoint  in it's usual tradition of tracking down St. Nick who exists in the innocent hearts and minds of kids.
By using sophisticated technology of geosynchronous orbital satellites, fighter jets,  since 1998 web cams, and now facebook and twitter .NORAD makes live broadcasts and journeys from south pole to the last drop-off of his 60,000 tonne [this year] load of goodies to all the good boys and girls of God's green earth.

Canadian CF-18 fighter jets intercepting  the chubby fellow yesterday  at around 0136hrs GMT just about when he was ascending from the Himalayas after a drop-off  of Capitalist Manifesto copies to the Tibetan children populace.

Another sighting by the supersonic F-16's escort jets caught a video of St. Nick taking a pee break apparently hanging precariously from the sleighs edge, one hand on the Reindeer halters, the other holding his willy, moving at well..fantastic supersonic speeds.

"ho! ho! ho! he was heard ho-hoing, urging his Reindeer team of Dancer, Prancer, Comet, Cupid,
  the leading light Rudolf and of course a crimson red painted Pratt and Whitney tugged snugly behind the sleigh "we can't afford to stop, we are already behind schedule" he said.

The rest of the Reindeer team had been let go following the adoption of this technological marvel   and as Rudolf put it ' oh! the dead weight was pretty much slowing us down'.

"everybody has to carry his own weight up here, except, of course, Santa" he added.

But Santa being the generous, kind hearted  Santa that he is deployed them to the Santa Bakery to pull sleigh-loads fresh baked confectionery.

"though this new job is not as 'high profile' as he last, we can't complain" said Blitzen on his new responsibilities.

"  you should see the guys down there on earth-not even McDonalds could take them in to flip burgers" he added.

Well, Santa could be delayed but not denied- he sure does exist.

Peace on Earth and goodwill to all men

©2009 newsync

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