Wyclef For President

SADDLE RIVER,New Jersey-  The  world famous recording Artiste/Producer Wyclef  Jean has given hint's he will be running for the November Haitian elections as President.

Though no official announcement has been made by Mr. Jean himself-yet- he has already presented his fingerprints, in person, to the concerned authorities in Haiti and has until August 7th 2010 to register as a candidate.

This announcement naturally has sparked off optimism in the heaven forsaken island plagued by corruption, incompetence but unlike it's parent  continent Africa, prone to hurricanes and earthquakes.

Most Haitians believe Jean is the man to effect this much  needed systemic change but local  critics described him as an "Oreo" - black on the outside and white on the inside- a charge his publicist refused to comment on.

" It's a shame they are blind to the wonderful work Wyclef has done through his Yele Haiti foundation. That should give them a good idea of the compassionate, responsible and actually black man from America they are dealing with here" said Prakazrel "Pras" Michel, Wyclef's cousin, himself an Artiste and firmly in support of his quest to change his home country.

Nevertheless pundits opined Wyclef has no experience in foreign policy or any form of elective politics in that matter and cannot be relied on or rely on his humanitarian activities to make up for everything.

"We understand he's got charisma;he sure knows how to work the crowds, and an open heart but one thing, [in my opinion] they are conveniently leaving out is the not so open books of his organization" said Kirk Whitherkill a political analyst for Fox News referring to financial misappropriations concerning Yele Haiti which made Wyclef Jean cry during an interview explaining he had never channeled any aid money inappropriately  for his personal use.

In other news, his uncle Raymond Joseph who also happens to be Haiti's Ambassador to America announced he will be running for the same post leaving Wyclef's other cousins( apart from "Pras") with a tough familial decision.

"I believe they can reach agreement and  Ray can be his running mate. What i want my baby to know is that in case  it get's too hot in  the kitchen or gawdforbid another major tremblor strikes during his watch, he's always welcome back home" said his mother.

Meanwhile in other quarters, the Tea Party Movement de-facto leader Sarah Palin  said she was happy for Wyclef and the people of Haiti  but would have been much happier if Obama had discovered and considered  that route- earlier.

Eneza

Cleveland Cavaliers Win Most Miserable City Cup

Cuyahoga, OH-Snatching the honour from the defending champions Stockton Ports,the Cleveland Cavaliers emerged victorious in a narrow but convincing win of 98-101 to be crowned the 'baddest' city in the whole of the 50 states of the United States of America and probably the eight provinces of Canada too.

Clevelanders generally welcomed the victory especially given the field was unusually crowded and tough this year round evidenced by the conspicuous absence of traditionally high quality,tough contenders like the Chicago Bulls in the top five instead replaced by relative newcomers.

The Philadelphia 76ers, veteran Guard Detroit Pistons[my personal favourites] and Flint Fuze from Michigan state together with the top two made up the top five Les Miserables this season otherwise known as the 'Big Five' with a guest appearance by the Bazooka, the Port-Au-Prince basketball team.

As such were the results of the USBL [United States Basketball League] which came to a 'we saw it coming' win to some and a rude shock to others.

As the Cavaliers celebrated their Monday night victory, sport commentators congratulated them for their anticipated win but some wondered whether the weather or man made factors played to their advantage

A few said a combination of both; man made decisions and the seasons conspired to dethrone the Stockton Ports of a possible win.

“This year's spring season started rather early don't you think” said Flint Stones a sports anchor for WKJD TV Mich. referring to the holding of the minor[USBL]eague initially announced in January, to be held in April.

“But thanks to the changing of minds of the officials, just like the seasons, we had to settle for second best” Said Stones.

However LeBron James the Cavaliers forward fended accusations the snow and cold played a part in the success of “The Forest City”.

“First of all a black man and the cold don't get along and this was not street basketball-it was played indoors though i gotta say at times the heating was sporadic at worst, luke warm at best” he said.

Wyclef Jean puts on a brave face as he tries to explain where the alleged money donated by the Cavaliers went to

Due to the high competition several cups have been introduced both in the major and minor leagues to accommodate talent which would otherwise mothball as a result of a lack of incentives. The Saddest City cup won by the New York Nets a few months ago, the Sin City Cup won by the Las Vegas Stars and most recently the Come Back kid Cup win by the New Orleans Hornets.

Sane minded officials warned of a major backlash against the proliferation of league titles some of which had political slantings with particular reference to the PalmPrompter Cup and Teabagger Cup won by the Alaska Dream and the Anchorage Anchovies respectively.

“What kind of a dumb name is Anchovies for a basketball team. And are they licensed” said Tim Wolof an NBA official.

The Cleveland mayor frank G. Jackson also opposed league naming which underscored economic under achievement and general lawlessness.

“Our [former] 'Plum-City' has just won the title of the most miserable town. Do you know what that means, yes, you Joe the Plumber. It means our neighbourhoods stink, our manufacturing sucks and unemployment is off the roof. We don't Rock any more” he said and suggested the Caveliers should chase after “economically correct” less depressing titles like Most Livable City Cup , just like back in the days of “Rock n' Roll”.

Emerging accusations allege the Caveliers broke the law in moving back and forth, playing both major and minor league allegedly to increase their chances of winning as many Cups as they could.

If found guilty they could be stripped of their hard won Most Miserable City title.

Caveliers lawyers argue they were well within the law since they were competing within “the charity clause” in a new ruling passed jointly by NBA and USBL officials on 25^th January 2010 which allows any team to play in any league or tournament as long as half the prize is donated for a charitable cause.

“Why do you think the Bazookas were here in the fist place- for show business” said the lead counsel.

Ports lawyers suspected the Caveliers' lawyers had exploited a loophole in the Hoop for Haiti bill since some money allegedly donated to Yele Haiti could not be accounted for.

Meanwhile the City's recent success in sports has earned it a new reputation as the “blessed sports City” which ESPN finally validated by withdrawing it's 2004 remarks which described Cleveland as the “most tortured sports city”.

©2010 newsync





Eneza

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