Makmende-Unravelling The Urban Myth Episode 1

Who is Makmende? So they ask and we are not here to explain either so if you want to know who he really is go look  some place else or relocate.. from China.

As soon as he hit the news and the Kenyan blogosphere was all over this  'Mc-Ossum' superheroes superhero, Newsync reporters instinctively sprang into action to find out more and it turns out we discovered more than we bargained for and in the next couple of posts we will let you in about our exclusive investigative scoops.

 MakCucaracha as they call him in Spain is  a global hit. In  the DC area, he's simply MakRoach. The Republicans call him 'MakCrotch'  which is still a compliment to the Lothario Super-super hero.

It is revealed Makmende  owns a fake diploma website apart from his official one. Diploma Xpress with an estimated market value of USD 1620.6 is a perfectly legal venture specialising in producing authentic looking certificates from any institution of higher learning in the world except a few countries like Somalia, Iraq, Afghanistan and the North and South poles-for obvious reasons.

In a recent interview Jo-el [no relation], Co-founder/owner of the 400+ member strong anti-Makmende Facebook group at the time of reporting, said "Makmende should be ashamed of himself" for dealing in such un-honourable business activities.

"This only goes to confirm what we thought all along. This guy is actually a fake-just like the certificates he produces"  added Jo-el.

Dmitri"Yevgeny Kaspersky" the other Co-founder/owner of the same group, and a Kenyan of Russian heritage, said we should all be careful as this "Makend* guy" as he put it is actually a bug, a computer virus out to infectmost computers.

"Those without Kaspersky anti virus of course" he added, tongue firmly in cheek.

Another 3 member strong anti-Makmende group owner who refused to identify himself for fear of embarrassing himself in public said Dimitri stole the 'bug idea' from his group's badge.

"As you can see from my page, my download is the photo of a motherboard and a real live bug atop" that's what they stole from me.

The Anti Anti-Makmende group members who are..in simple language pro-Makmende at the
moment described those anti-Mak group members as  losers who should get a life-and a Superhero. One even mockingly suggested a merger of the different Anti-mak groups popping up by the minute with members ranging from 1 to 3.

Meanwhile in other news, Makmende is credited with the surefire passage of  President Obama's Healthcare reform bill which became was a done deal today.

"Am not sure how he did it but this 'Makmender' guy sure knows how to fix the republicans.He is my homeboy-a brotha from another coun..my fatherland" said Obama stumbling on his teleprompter.

It is later revealed Obama dropped Superman as his chief Middle East adviser for a yet to be identified Super-Superhero.

©2010 newsync





Eneza

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Diploma Xpress accusses competition of producing below standard fake diplomas

In another case of a war of words in the cutthroat man-eat-man business of fake certificates, diplomaxpress.com a leading fake certificate dot.com berated it's main rival succeedonline.com for producing substandard fake diplomas for the market.

“we believe our clients deserve the best [fake] diplomas for their hard earned money and not the mediocrity Succeed is offering,' said Matty Maguire, Diplomaxpress PR person.

“And since there is no regulatory body, as yet, in our line of work, we should take it upon ourselves to regulate ourselves, being our brother's keepers, by removing the flack from their eyes so they can see further and clearly enough to see their incompetence” added Marty.

Diplomaxpress who are the market leaders and whose customers are mostly high school and college seniors have recently branched into the production of PhD's, MBA's, MBE's and OBE's to cater for the rapidly expanding [and profitable] segment of postgraduates and 'distinguished individuals in society' clientele.

Succeedonline CEO Fred “Freddy” Kerkorian dismissed these claims as hogwash, and just another case of “ old entrants fearing new entrants” as is the common feature in the dot.com landscape-or is it netscape.

Professor Arthur McDunkin PhD, Mch., MBA, MBE of the University College London concluded there is some credence in Kerkorian's observation. “diplomaxpress is still the leader in this field with with a market share of 60pc. But that's down 10 percentage points from the same period last year which shows competition is gaining ground”.

An authority on fake credentials, author of two bestsellers 'Contraband Certificates' and 'Our Cheating Society' and writer of numerous papers on the subject, Prof. Arthur didn't fail to notice the improvements in the 'efficiencies' and 'perceived authenticity' of these company's products.

In an experimental study conducted last year, the original diploma was voted fourth [by experts] out of the total five diplomas on display, all of them fake but one .

“ last year it was number three” he said.

The Professor also noted that “these guys have become so good at producing fakes which are more real than the real McCoys; the seals, holograms and all- done with such aviation precision that this is surely evidence of highly skilled workmanship and frankly speaking, the phonies are of better quality paper”

So what's the secret we ask

“ not only is this attributable to modern technology like the HP® laserjet printers, laser guided Holos and nextgen 3D Fuji finepix® DSC[digital still cameras] which uses two 3x zoom lenses instead of one, placed approximately a distance apart like the human eyes, giving an impression of depth, but also the use of Sandalwood pulp and of course, globalisation” bragged Maguire.

“ though illegally logged, Sandal is of a higher quality than recycled cardboard, a preference of many Colleges as it's cheap and the need to please tree-hugging Peaceniks and Greenbelters is also high in their agenda. We don't carry such baggage”

“but again, we don't come cheap. You have to earn your papers” he added.

Succeedonline's Freddy, denied comment as he was busy finalizing paperwork for their forthcoming IPO, this Thanksgiving.
Copyright©2009 newsync