Sunday, 31 January 2010

Jobs convinces the world to buy something they didn't even know they needed-again

CUPERTINO,Ca-Apple Computer Inc. CEO and co-founder Steve Jobs was at it, again, doing what he does best when not shouting at helpless employees at HQ, or in and out of hospital.

He was preaching the gospel of it's newest product the iPad formerly known as the iTablet or maybe iTab.

For a product that is yet to hit the market, the iPad is touted by many technology pundits and TechTrendTrackers, a leading [San Francisco]Bay area fad consultancy as the 'ultimate iPhone and MacBook killer in a single blow and possibly,Macgod forbid, the iPod.


ipad, imate, islate,islut, ifly idon't really care-Steve Ballmer CEO Microsoft

This assumption may not be as far fetched following rather lackluster performances of competitor products which analysts believed would kill, with particular reference to 'that massively successful Apple touchy feely thingee phone'.

Yes that over hyped single page loading, non-impressionable touch screen iphone.

"Palm Inc. came out strongly initially with the PalmPre and the Pharisees asked; are you Elijah-the iphone killer?"

"No i am not as we found out" relayed Methusela Wickrematunge a full time freelance technology blogger.

"Then came the Blackberry Bold and we asked; are you Moses-the iphone killer"

"no I AM not"

"Then finally a truly serious competitor by Google inc. in the form of the Nexus One which went something like-am the voice in the wilderness preparing the way for the iphone killer"

"And we figured right but we hope it will at least turn out to be an iphone denter " concluded Methusela.

Although Jobs denied the ipad is not designed to kill any of it's predecessors much less the crown bejewelled iphone series of smart phones, he admitted it was something of a compromise between a big iphone and a much thinner MacBook- both life and death essentials for any self person and a person who is into phones.

Picking up on matters of life he did not shy away from making it clear it was designed to kill that much publicised Microsoft stylised[using a stylus] tablet PC which never experienced the flashing lights and thunderous applause of a well choreographed tablet launch presentation.

"oh! that CES[consumer electronics show] 'Microserf' based tablet...what was it's name again?" said Jobs giving a look into the future gaze and head slant trying hard to recall.

"Ooops! i forgot. it didn't even have a name" he added.

Meanwhile, promised it's latest version of the Kindle as soon online audio book and music CD sales picked up. Rumoured to be the A-kindle, after the initial B-kindle name was rejected by marketing' supposedly because A comes before B in the english alphabet and 'A' stood for many good things like 'A'-list and sometimes the painful but necessary 'Abandon'.

Jeff Bezos was mad.

It is expected to rekindle the sluggish Kindle sales and hopefully reduction of price to follow through economies of scale thereby appealing to the mass market.

"iPad, iPod don't have, i buy" said Li Xeonjin 25, queuing[standing in line] outside the Sanlitun Apple store in Beijing to purchase an iPad on being mis-informed by scammers.

"When Apple bring iPhone in China" he asked us.

We thought they already had the iPhonne.

©2010 newsync
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  1. I laughed out loud on this one. Very funny stuff here.

  2.! look who's here, the first lady of humor. Thanks Patti :))