Sunday, 1 November 2009


It's reported Kenyans are not living any longer but dying younger, according to a report released by KIPPRA [Kenya Institute for Public Policy Research and Analysis]. It's assumed this has nothing to do with the fact that there is HIV in the country and spreading fast among the twenty somethings, neither the drought nor insecurity, got anything to do with it.

“People are just dying for no apparent reason. I think it's got something to with science-That Which Has A life, Has To Die; eventually” said Dr. Okal, chairman of a medical association in the country..

Despite the completion of the China Rd. which stretches from Maji ya Chumvi geographical coordinates: 3° 48' 0" South, 39° 23' 0" East of Kenya [with permission Google maps] to Athi River, a well paved stretch of tarmac which connects the two largest cities in the country, people are still dying. The A109 was designed to save time and lives by ensuring a smooth surface where the rubber meets the road, mad motorists are in their element, zebras can cross safely and everybody is happy. But instead, it has turned into a killer highway. But again, the panel concluded roads don't kill people and we know your vehicle is lethal ie can kill but we're yet to arraign one in a court of law.So 'super -highway' was safe, spared, off the hook.

As the debate over what kills the people raged and gathered momentum like a rolling stone, something monumental happening. Through a meticulous , statistically quantifiable process of elimination to finally pin down the main culprit of the 'Kenyan killer', the panel settled on a handful of suspects.

Maybe it's Malaria, it's the number one killer of kids in Africa. It kills more people than Aids. It is the forgotten menace. Rearing it's ugly head whenever we are not looking or are busy distributing free condoms because [mosquito] nets are too cumbersome to move around and not cool enough for Collo to carry. “you just can't slide one into your back pocket and I heard the insecticide treated ones cause cancer.”

Ladies and gentlemen, who is going to save the children-our future, our pride, our progeny!!

A minute or two of hushed silence fell upon the gymnasium where the delegates congregated followed by an almost agreed upon moment of murmurings and mutterings of ah! uh!'s and zzz! zzzzz's giving the impression [to an outsider] of an important discussion in progress amongst themselves .

After order finally reigned, by itself, devoid of shouting matches, a section of the civilized, dignified, cultured men and women begged to politely disagree on the definition and classification of a kid as a Kenyan people, yet.

“ mister honorable fellow delegate, as a fellow learned friend I beg to use your own words against you. Is malaria the number one killer of people in Africa, or kids in Africa?”

Arguing most kids are below the voting and drinking age of eighteen. Some delegates were not exactly sure whether kids were little humans or little goats, expressing their amusement with the ambiguity by laughing sheepishly

A commission with a mandate to define the word or term 'kid' was set up immediately. The malaria matter was stashed aside pending a conclusive report by the commission who's chairman promised to leave no stone unturned......
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