Tuesday, 10 November 2009


..in another separate development, the BNP[British National Party] a British far-right party i.e racist in common slang, came in defence of 'Dr. Deya' as they praised him in a surprise move during a debate in a popular BBC television show.
It was widely considered a gimmick since BNP is a whites only party and Deya is as dark as the inside of a chimney.
Fascist-in-Chief Nick Griffin, BNP's leader, purportedly described Dr. Deya as a “ brave minister” who wholly and unreservedly deserved the title 'Doctor' for giving many white childless women the precious gift of cute babies which they obviously couldn't through ordinary means.
He denied any claims the bravery was simply “routine”
and conveniently forgot to mention all the good cheer 'the Dr.' had brought to black British homes, Kenyan British homes, illegal Kenyan's British homes, visiting Kenyan's British homes, Kenyan student's in Britain, British homes, British homes of people of Caribbean decent..
and Kenyan homes-in Kenya.
The reaction back home was mixed as many people went through their day to day hustling while others were surprised to note he had progressed professionally, moved up the corporate ladder, broke the glass ceiling and bought himself a self branded chopper.
“ shiett, that brathas doing good by being good ma brotha” remarked one 'Bohemian' Nairobian.
It's just amazing how Kenyans keep pulling these personal stories of adversity, all odds stacked up six storey's high, only for them to overcome and come out smelling like goddamn carnation flowers, for the rest of the world to watch and admire.
“ If a [former] stone mason can buy one, I can buy one too. When is he landing it in town” said some unidentified [as of time of reporting] jobless college graduate, clearly inspired.
Deya fans were furious he didn't make the headlines this time. “ we simply don't care” said a thirtysomething gentleman only identified as Obare [O'Bare]
“ we need new recruits and their money too. The credit crunch is not yet over, we need to make mission.” he added.
The political class were indifferent as there was no immediate gain financially or otherwise, foreseeable, inherent or here and now. But one cabinet minister did admit he was a bit jealous.
“ at least he will be tried at home!!”
PS: The British Home Secretary Alan Johnson said the Archbishop will be 'de-planing' on Kenyan soil -diplomatic speak for deportation- on Thanksgiving, refusing to give a concrete date.
A dramatic shift from the original statement, this was meant to protect any childless and/or one child couples all over the world from hoping beyond hope.
“ don't be fooled, no bouncing baby boys for Christmas, and Timmy, no pinky-chubby cheeked baby sister from Santa” from the horse's mouth.
But the Storks will be working overtime this Thanksgiving. Happy thanksgiving to ya'll.
This info was unavailable to no one but News Ync until now. And...the Storks thing is ours.
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