from our Washington bureau
It is reported Tedd McNealy, a seventeen year old senior at Gallowsbridge High has finally made up his mind on what he wants to do after school.
The lanky, nappy haired, nerdy six four [6'4''] made the announcement early Saturday at approximately 08:30am at the breakfast table in front of family members who have been lovingly pestering him for the last couple of months to decide on what to do with his life after high school.
Mr. Gregg McNealy, the boy's father described the announcement as a pleasant surprise but admitted it was long overdue.
“ what the heck, he finally came through, that's Teddy my boy, reaching for the sky when you least expect.
Though Tedd denied any family pressure was responsible for his well choreographed breakfast table announcement, he admitted to be a little undecided on which of the US Airforce's array of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles [UAV's] he wanted to settle on.
“ I think for starters, I should go for the 3 -foot-long, camera-equiped Raven, but I've seen the Predator in action on National Geographic. That 'bird of prey' spits Hell fire missiles further than DiCaprio. Sure made smithereens of those Afghani civilians” he said.
“or maybe, the high-altitude, long endurance, much more sophisticated Global Hawk sounded
like much fun; phew!! decisions, decisions, decisions”
With his two older brothers, one a General Practitioner the other an Investment Banker, and his sister studying Law, they all seem to have fell through their parents [lofty] expectations but Theodore Abraham McNealy. He has always been the black sheep of the family, a disappointment with a swagger.
Unsure if he will achieve perfect SAT scores, yet [to get laid] and tasting Budweiser at the ripe old age of seventeen and a half, he was considered a lost cause-unless...
“ If I just conquer my fear of heights and make it to the US Airforce Academy Colorado Springs, am gonna prove to those wussbergs that Drone piloting can hold it's own against those old economy careers” said a visibly vengeful Tedd.
“ this is my chance to redeem myself and earn those wings” he concluded
Witnesses said Teddy was cut for anything but the Military.
“ to begin with, he likes Geography, the study of the Earth and the atmosphere” said Carl a longtime neighbour and Teddy's homeboy.
“ no offence, just honest friendly opinion. I think Teddy should consider being a pilot of a Civilian drone, like those they use to check the weather, or those sent in the 'eye' of Tornadoes to check pressure. At least they are less costly to land on the Hudson River”