Friday, 20 November 2009


The Kenya Power and Lighting company, a local government owned and run electricity distributor has warned Kenyan's to brace themselves for another round of utility bill hikes if the El-Niño rains fail,contrary to the nation's free to air TV weather reports.

Trusted traditional rainmakers from Kenya working in conjunction with scientists from the Meteorological dept. had predicted the devastating,destructive and disruptive but apparently electricity bringing El-Niño rains would fall approximately three days and, give-or-take one and three quarter hours from the official El-Niño timetable adopted by the government, which was largely based on the Pro-government mouthpiece KBC[Kenya Broadcating Corporation] weather reports,

and external factors such as the Great Mara Wildebeeste migration,flight patterns of migratory geese on Discovery channel and children playing outside.

Rainmakers from Kenya, fearing time was running out with not a single grey cloud gathering in the clear blue horizon ditched their scientific partners from the Met. dept. and started looking beyond their borders for collaboration.

The result was the more experienced and powerful rainmakers from neighbouring Tanzania in the form of the Pare people, a renowned tribe of expert rainmakers and the person of Mfumwe[Chief] Muhammad Kibacha Singo's great-great-grandchild Mfumwe Jopolembe Gopolopo.

In partnership with their newly found 'Partners in Precipitation formation' they set out to convince the heavens to pour out it's bowels not only out of the incovenience of an eminent blackout which meant candlelit dinners but more importantly the wrath of their nagging wives for missing out on the re-runs of

Desperate Housewives season 5.

Reading panic amongst the population and fearing backlash, like the one which followed the hiking of maize prices earlier in the year [and the scandal accompanying it] the government extended a hand of co-operation and collaboration to the rainmakers.

The government tried to convince them of the importance of a joint effort and promised them free 2000lts. Roto® water tanks per family for the harvesting of rain water, extending to the 'Mfumwe's'.

Nevertheless, the villagers stood their ground.

"we won't be dragged into a cheap, bureaucratic rainmaking coalition by the government unless the tanks come with Ultraviolet germicidal irradiation lamps to purify the rain water" said one well informed villager be continued,

©2009 newsync
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