Friday 12 February 2010

All Publicity Is Good Publicity- saysToyota

TOYOTA CITY, Japan-After a well publicised round of recalls by the media , Toyota Motor Corporation トヨタ自動車株式会社 [NYSE: TM] decided a good turn deserves another therefore barely two weeks the board recommended a second round of recalls supposedly to ride on the crest of the first one.

"The first one sure was a success my fellow corporate warriors. Given my vast experience i should have seen this[success] coming but i didn't and that's great- i love surprises" said Akio Toyoda after signing the papers authorising the second recall.

This time round Toyota was not going after the Corrollas, Avalons, Tundras or other mass market vehicles but extended the recall to their crown jewel the Prius.But Akio stopped short of authorising the 2010 prius instead choosing to "save the best for last or at leat some time in the third quarter" when there might be no aces to play.

Motoring commentators and motor sports magazine editors hailed the move as a genius of marketing which led several other car companies to follow suit.
Thanks for the recall some jackass who didn't even know about us would like to test drive-just for the rush of a sticking brake and gas pedal, coupled clutch at 90mph


Honda led the way and almost immediately announced a massive recall of it's Accord and Civic models. By noon news was that it was expanding the recall to include it's minivans and SUV's which clearly shored up the break neck speed at which recall departments of major car manufacturers have to maneuvre just to stay ahead of competition.

"We were informed by our North American people the airbags had problems and we heard a Honda had caught fire in South Africa" said Takanobu Ito, CEO Honda Motor Corporation.

"Though we admit we tried to find similar cases in Asia and even simulated a crash at our testing grounds in Malaysia, but Chairman [Satoshi] Aoki warned us against pushing our luck" concluded Ito.

Our Dearborn sources revealed Ford was exploring the possibility of re-enacting its 1994 cruise control recall, 2000 Ford Explorer/Firestone [tyre]blow out recall or it's 2009 fire recall in manner of relevance and present day news worthiness but conceded it was hard not to be seen as copying the Japanese.

"we have to be original,think out of the box,be different. Do exactly the opposite" said Alan R. Mulally CEO Ford.

Thereby the decision was reached to mudsling Toyota and trumpet it as a fraud all along-subtly. Nevetherless Mulally ordered a review of the anticipated 2010 recall list just to make sure "it wasn't as serious as Toyotas".

Experts believed this 'different approach' tactic would hurt sales.

"Even though as of January Ford led Toyota in the American market some recall publicity could have helped to nudge sales a little higher thus ensuring they stayed leaders just a little bit longer" noted Crundale Banler a car industry enthusiast.

General Motors had no comment or plan of action yet, as of time of press as it quietly reveled in it's God sent double digit gains hoping to benefit further from the next round of federal funding of what has come to be known as 'cash-for-Corrolas' programme.

Akio apologised for the inconveniences caused to it's customers but assured them of better sales and much renewed strength of this global brand.

"We will come out of this smelling like hydraulic fluid"

"And if i may paraphrase Britney Spears, there is nothing like bad publicity my friend" said Akio clenching his fist,jabbing the air as he stood from his desk to move away from the web cam.

"After all,it only takes thirty minutes to fix a sticking brake/accelerator/clutch pedal and all those beauties in pedal pushers who freaked in their Camry's will feel safe behind the wheel again" concluded Akio trashing the subpoena hanging over his head

©2010 newsync


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Eneza

2 comments:

  1. Do you deny that Toyota has never gotten so much free exposure before? It's not about how the story begins, but how the story ends that matters. Until then, it's free commercial for Toyota!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...yup! you're right Jay. Let's hope that all that started badly ends well after all there is nothing like bad publicity

    ReplyDelete