Sunday, 14 February 2010

Scientists With No Love Life Unanimously Agree On Definition Of Love

PARIS, Arkansas-After many years of research,personal sacrifices and lobbying by anti- Valentine groups scientists from different parts of the United States have agreed on a common, less sentimental explanation to the age old question- What Is Love.

"We decided to settle on the biochemical explanations to make sense of all that mushy non-scientific trash" said Dr.Mike McLuddle,a team member who is seeing a marriage counselor.

"With these new epochal findings i can finally drill sense into Stacy" he added referring to his wife who-hopelessly-expected him to be his love coach that night and not in a lab coat.
                          Scientists from Paris, Tennessee agreed

"Part of the whole attraction process is strongly linked to physiological arousal as a whole" said Timothy Loving (his real name), assistant professor of human ecology at the University of Paris, Texas.

"Typically, that's going to start with things like increased heart rate, sweatiness and so on" he added.

"The weak knees, Ferrari heartbeat, sweatiness can be explained" said Loving pointing us to the team of experts.

"Here's how it works: The brain sends signals to the adrenal gland, which secretes hormones such as adrenaline, epinephrine and norepinephrine. They flow through the blood and cause the heart to beat faster and stronger" said Ying, a cardiac electrophysiologist and associate professor of medicine at Montchuris Hospital, New Paris, Pennsylvania

The response is somewhat similar to a fast heartbeat while running on a treadmill, although exercise has other benefits; but a link to weight loss, he said.

For people with serious heart problems, love could actually be dangerous, Ying said. That's because when the heart rate goes up, the heart uses more oxygen, which can be risky for an older person with blood vessel blockages or who has had a prior heart attack. But good medicines such as beta blockers help curb the adrenaline response, Ying said.

It is also likely that norepinephrine, a stress hormone that governs attention and responding actions, makes you feel weak in the knees, said Helena Fichtenstein, professor at Rutgers and author of the book "Why not Him? Why not Her? Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type."

Fichtenstein's research team did brain imaging of people who said they were "madly in love" and found activity in the area of the brain that produces the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine and norepinephrine are closely related.

Other confusing chemicals which play a role in what we call Love are cortisol, a stress hormone and serotonin.

Critics said the scientist findings were not in good faith as they sounded jealous of happily marrieds, haters of lovey-dovey stuff and people who understand the meaning of fun.

Feminist groups sarcastically hailed the scientists for finally finding out "What Love Is" surprisingly something women knew existed since creation.

These views were not helped by the fact that some overzealous scientists left out the parts or the emailed research findings which said:-

"Love has health benefits for people who have aged beyond their reproductive years. Being in love makes people feel optimistic, energetic, focused and motivated, which were all positive for health and societal contribution in the early days of humans. So, it makes sense evolutionarily that people can still fall in love after their childbearing period."


"Romance also is good for you. Studies have shown that people who have frequent sex are generally healthier, with a longer life, fewer coronary events and lower blood pressure. A 1995 study in the journal Demography found that marriage adds seven years to a man's life and two years to a woman's."

Citizen Clinton, an Arkansas native supported the feminists view in his first Valentine comment upon leaving hospital after a successful heart procedure.

His spokesperson denied reports in gossip ezines alleging his heart problems were as a direct result of "lack of real Love" as far fetched crass.
©2010 newsync

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