Monday, 19 October 2009

... If Only They Could Hold Those Damn Elections NOW!!

Raila is the Man to beat, new poll shows

DN Oct. 18 2009

A new poll conducted in Kenya, a country of 35million plus people and floor area of 224,080 sq. miles, roughly the size of Texas [short 44,740 sq. miles] in Africa showed the country's Prime Minister Raila Amollo Odinga 64, would be President, again, if the elections were held as of...well..right now.

This revelation came as a pleasant surprise for the Luo people 85pc of whom consider the Prime Minister their Moses who will lead them from their vicious cycle of poverty to the land of milk and honey and maybe fish, someday.

But for Nairobi Lawyer Kimotho Waiganjo along with a section of other political commentators making up roughly 46pc of the Kenyan political commentator community contend they were not surprised at all by the PM's perfomance.

“I believe I speak for many regular political commentators when i say i saw this coming a mile away” said Waiganjo “ and if the PM intends to keep his steam Locomotive rolling, he's got to pay good attention to the numbers- 46 read backwards is 64 and numbers don't lie” he added.

According to Steadman, now Synovate, a popular polling company in Kenya only comparable to Gallup, Raila came tops with 31 percentage points with his closest rival Mr. Kalonzo Musyoka 56 closing in at 14pc a respectable 17pecentage points difference and a cool improvement from the 'Mr. 8 percent' about the same time last year and [President] Mwai Kibaki 78 coming last at 5pc but supporters say it's mainly because he played fair this time giving credence to the saying doing rounds among African head of states “honest Presidents finish last”.

Though visibly impressed by the poll results and thanking the polling people for a job well done, the PM couldn't hide his disappointment for not hitting his personal target.

“I don't mean to sound ungrateful to the poll participants but am positive if the polling company employees, their families and close relations were allowed to participate am as sure as 2 by 2 is 4 i'd make my 50 plus one” said Raila with his former spokesperson Salim Lone nodding vigorously in agreement.

Meanwhile, the other contenders for the Pollsters Pie namely William Ruto, Martha Karua and Uhuru Kenyatta managed to garner 25 percentage points [to be shared] amongst themselves. “am still new in this Presidential stuff” said Martha Karua a former Justice and Constitutional affairs Ministress in Kibaki's Government of National (dis)Unity.“as you can all see the reasons are plain, am a plain Jane so i can't complain” She added.

“ Raila graduated with a 'Diplom Degree' in Mechanical Engineering from East Germany so he must be interested in numbers” figured City Lawyer-cum-Political Commentator Waiganjo.

“ if you subtract his year of birth 1945 AD from our last election year 2007AD you get 62, only 2 yrs shy of his present age and [almost] 2yrs away to the next [general] election year- the stars are aligned”

Waiganjo denied any claims he'd been consulting cheap Numerologists

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