Senegalese President proposes new state of Haiti in Africa

DAKAR- Senegalese President Abdoulaye Wade has proposed the carving out of a nation for the habitation of quake stricken Haitians. It still is not clear whether this is meant as a temporary measure or for keeps.

Wade stated he will take his case to the AU for discussion and try to convince member countries to give up some of their hard fought territories to their brothers who are currently as good as stateless.

Though the gesture was seen by many as compassionate and timely,most of the continents cartographers were skeptical of the practicality of such a move.

"We understand the President's motives are for the best but it's easier for him to talk about giving away land when most of that land is, honestly speaking, good for nothing barren desert" said Salif Baghani an Algerian geographical map drafter.

With these kinds of popular sentiment gathering momentum, Senegalese officials were forced to announce publicly they will be giving part of their fertile land too.

                               one hell of a hot piece of real estate


And the international community eager not to be seen doing nothing about the imminent repatriation of Haitians, Japan retrofitted several of it's man made islands for temporary habitation as plans and civil works were underway to construct a single, large island with a capacity of ten million plus.

"This should make our brothers feel like they're home...er! sorry, home is not a good comparison now" said Hichiro Tepanyaki, lead architect of project 'Isle of Many'.

"To make room for expansion at the same time check immigration, the offshore habitat will be as far out of the sea of Japan as the eye can't see" he added.

Haitian President Rene Preval politely declined the offer after a short de-briefing on the town of Kobe.

With international interference out of the way, Africa now stood a better chance of offering a better place for it's own.

" we might be poor with not enough to feed ourselves let alone give away, but we sure are rich in natural resources and that's how we will show we care. We are in it for the long haul" Said AU Chairman Muammar al-Gaddafi who is also the Libyan President.

Indeed, geography the size of Africa with just over a billion in population-the continent sure has more than enough room for one more country.

A proposed site for the Haitian nation in Africa includes somewhere in the middle of the Sahara after it was unanimously agreed the minority Berber tribes still surviving there will be forcefully driven up the dunes.

To make the transition from an islanders way of life to that of a desert warrior thus ensure smooth acclimatisation, Haitians will settle first in the coastal Liberian towns of Buchanan, Greenville and Harper before moving over to Libya and Algeria for Camel ride classes.


©2010 newsync





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Donors scramble, fight, argue in a tight race to deliver aid to Haiti

PORT-AU-PRINCE(News Ync.)- It is reported International donors and charitable organisations are falling over themselves in desperate efforts to deliver relief supplies to the earthquake stricken Haitians.

Not that it is a bad thing aid organisations are in a hurry to help out and save lives but the alleged 'relief race' has been raising tempers which undercuts staff morale and the all important co-operation and co-ordination of relief supplies amongst the dozens or maybe hundreds of humanitarian groups in the country.

"this is crazy" said Michelle Balle of Oxfam France holding the bridge of her nose not from the stench of dead and decomposing bodies[may the lord rest their souls] but a half litre bottle of mineral water hurled at her by a British aid worker in anger.

Apparently they were arguing whether a case of mineral water,a precious commodity even at the best of times in Haiti, should go first to the thirsty pregnant women or the children facing dehydration.

Eventually desperate youth overpowered them and took off- plus the water.


In another incident, American marines brought in to provide escort and security in the streets insisted on profiling aid workers from countries on their terror watch list before being escorted deep into the areas worst affected.

So they don't blow up anything or anyone.

"With all do respect we have seen enough [death] and destruction. Any structure in this epicenter which was not brought down by the quake, was definitely flattened by the aftershocks" said Ahmed Mushkat an aid worker.

While the squabbles were mostly petty, over things like which organisation should go where and why, each determined to be the first to reach where no help had reached or put bluntly, no other aid organisation had reached, the issue was also taking an international dimension leading to diplomatic embarrassments.

France wanted to know from FAO why they couldn't bring in french fries and demanded to know why the American commander denied their ambulance planes permission to land.

"airport security is a serious issue in our country and hell no foreign plane [except Haitian] requiring air traffic control is gonna land here and this has got nothing to do with the tower not workin'" said Capt. Jimmy Keefe

" they could have used the sea for crying out loud. This island is surrounded by water and for the record our hospital ship USNS Comfort is due in a few days" he added.

Meanwhile, Iran blamed the West for the 7.o Richter quake

Though the Haitians are thankful to the international community for showing so much concern and compassion then moving swiftly to help in their time of need, President Rene Preval said this was an extremely difficult situation and urged everybody to keep their cool, do co-ordination and not throw accusations at each other.

Nevetheless aid was still trickling slowly albeit all the competition from a multitude of aid and humanitarian agencies both private and public.

And with the people growing impatient, desperate and demented thus resorting to looting and other criminal activities Israel announced it would bring in the Bulldozers to clear the way thus speeding things up.

NB: we had to push and shove our way through a mob of reknowned international journalists, each eager to be the first to let you know


©2010 newsync





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