Thursday, 17 June 2010

Algeria, Cameroon, Nigeria Get A Resounding 'No' In Opinion Polls

Nairobi, Kenya-  As Kenyans remained sharply divided  on the draft constitution they are about to vote YES or NO in a forthcoming referendum, sources in Pubs  have noticed a unifying factor- the World Cup.

Not the beautiful tournament  passe but the answer with a 'YES', 'NO' or 'So So' to the question  of who 'Should Have', 'Shouldn't Have' and 'Should  Not' have represented  Africa in the tournament.

Following   the results of a telephone poll by Synovate,a polling  company a whopping 89 per cent of Kenyans think Algeria, Nigeria and Cameroon were a general disappointment in their opening matches. 70pc of that 89pc were not surprised though as they put it  "following the experiences of  Germany 2006 we were just bracing ourselves for a whole new level of 'underwhelment' by our 'West Africon bradas' referring to Nigeria and Cameroon.

 76 per cent of pollsters also claimed this football team of Indian Gurus,Papajis and potential snake charmers would have provided a better scoreline and entertainment than those disappointing 3 teams put together. As of time of reporting, Analysts strongly predicted South Africa will make the number 4

 "Our computers showed a 110pc error margin + or- 0.03 pc. which of course is an error and am not blaming the machine" said Ms. S Poll research co-ordinator Synovate who declined to be named unless her computer crashed following day.

Algeria the African country just happy to be at the Cup again since 1986.

"They are a total waste of air ticket.Saying they area as productive as a paper weight is an insult to the paper weight" said Dickens Owuodo a Pub goer.

Leading Politicians opposed to the draft constitution did not want to be caught at the Train Station when the Ship was docking at Port.

"We have not figured out yet how but we are open to suggestions. We plan to make this triple digit 'NO' vote reflect on our own 'NO' campaign" said William Ruto a Politician opposed to the new Draft Constitution.

Needless to say the Algerians were furious by the belittling of their national team but not  as much as the mention of Egypt by in the 'Should Have' part of the poll alongside Zambia, Kenya, Madagascar and Sychelles the last three having never qualified.

"This is ridiculous. Egypt does not even acknowledge it's African-ness" fumed the Algerian Captain Yazid Mansouri.

Most other African countries agreed leading the Kenyan foreign minister to apologise on behalf of his countrymen to avoid a diplomatic spat.

"We had so much going on; the Premier League just ended, World Cup fever was catching on, Biden came then left with the President  for South Africa after a hurried budget speech at State House instead of the August House all in less than a week." said Moses Wetangula Kenya's foreign minister.

"And i conveniently forgot to mention  the referendum campaigns were heating up at that very time" he added.

Meanwhile, Synovate MD George Waititu announced a repeat of the Poll after news came in of South Africa's 3-0 defeat against Uruguay.

 Madiba in a statement through his aides advised Kenyans to steer away from ethnic politics and embrace Rainbow Politics at the same time get a life- outside of football and Shebeens

1 comment:

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