Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Is Higher Learning Necessary? Experts Say Not Really

SAN FERNANDO, California- Experts across the United States have come out strongly against the generally held belief that higher education is a crucial pre-requisite in the 21st century tech driven world.

"Honestly and contrary to popular belief you don't need four years of graduate school to figure out how to make money. And whats with the outcry over rising fees and mounting student debts" said Pascale Munir PhD a Sociology Professor at UCLA.

Most college educated people disagreed saying most people opposed to higher learning are bitter they were not able to achieve it because of a number of factors like first world poverty, poor grades,ill advised subject mix,lack of opportunities to get laid or in some cases, a combination of all.

 tired of the world famous drop-outs Bill gates and Paul Allen (Microsoft), Lawrence "Larry" Ellison (Oracle), Richard Branson (Virgin Group) and Mark Zuckerberg(Facebook), Kenyans demanded a closer-to-home drop-out success

"That's nonsense" said Steve Chadwick a crossword puzzle constructor for the Melbourne Times. " I dropped out as a sophomore because there was nothing they could teach me there and look at me enjoying what i do-how many people in the world can say that" added Chadwick.

Recent statistics indeed show seven out of ten graduates are working in areas unrelated to their field of study while the others who are lucky are always worried if they will be able to keep their jobs at least until their kids finish college.

"Why don't you give your kids the option of a 2yrs technical or vocational training?" that's the question we put to Adelaide Burmeister keeping in mind there is a ready demand for "hands on" jobs rather than the bunch of BA's in English, Psychology, Natural History and Anthropology and Ms. Burmeister replied she want's her son to experience life on campus- we conveniently forgot to ask if that included binging and sleeping around.

For all the opponents of higher learning of course we have an equal number of proponents who argue it's not a question of college diplomas/degrees vs. high school diplomas/degrees but their quality. "We all know 8.4.4[American education System] does not suck, it's the schools.

Too many inferior credentials chasing too few jobs" said Dr Jake Albrough of Wheaton School. But all is not lost as President Obama has commissioned a task force to immediately comment on the matter and encourage young people and indeed graduates to diversify into enterprise and job creation.

"Working hard at your job is a good thing but right now we need more people who work hard to create those jobs" Said Obama drawing attention to the number of jobs created so far after the recession at the same time being cautious not to point a finger at the B-School trained executives who caused it in the first place.

Meanwhile, sensing support from the government side the American Dudes and High school Dropouts[ADHD] and the Pre-Tertiary Student Drop-outs[PTSD] both organisations working closely at helping baby boomer drop-outs, generation X and Y 'freeters'( young people hoping from job to job)  presented a 1,000 signature petition to the President  demanding a law allowing it harder for employers to fire people -just like in France they said- and the need to present 'college papers' in job interviews yet they already posses many years of practical experience.

In a written statement through the White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, President Obama politely told them to go back to class and get an education . Eneza


  1. True,but times have since changed.So besides a gift or talent,better be educated as well for the sake of a fallback plan

  2. Not necessary for what? Experts on what? D*ckheadedness? It's true!

  3. The thing is, in Kenya entrepreneurs don't like to declare wealth because there's almost always something shady that was done to establish the business. That's why Kenya doesn't have some annual top 100 rich list or things like that. But trust me, there are very many Kenyan entrepreneurs making loot without using their degrees