Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Bitter Sweet Victory For A Muslima Miss America

PLANET HOLLYWOOD RESORT,Las Vegas-As news of the brand new  winner of  Miss America,  or is it Ms America,  an Arab-American but strictly speaking a Lebanese-American, Rima Fakih, sank in and congratulatory sms's zoomed across the networks organizers are  agonizing on which demographic minority to make Miss USA 2011.

 "We have already received a ton of  requests from the Majority Minorities. Hispanics, African-Americans, Asian-Americans, Chinese-Americans and the rapidly growing Africans in America for kind consideration for the much coveted crown." said Kirsten Plumf a panel member.

" But that's not all. We received such a barrage of race/ethnicity names i never knew existed like the Chammoro. Almost though it was a variation of Chicano.Luckily we verified everything at the Census Bureau's website which also kinda vaguely explained the differences between Spanish/Hispanic/ Latino et cetera" added Plumf.

The GOP neo-conservatives complained this was a move at bowing to the  Muslims but Ms.Plumf dismissed them as old school politicians just doing what they do best- politicizing everything at first sight.

Meanwhile, modern Arab-Americans across America celebrated by firing blanks in the air at this rare victory in which  nobody was hurt which proved critics wrong, once again, that soft power is not just rhetoric.

Similar feeling was felt across  international borders: "nine years after nine eleven. America has a president of Muslim origin and a Muslim Miss America," tweeted Khalid Alkhalifa, the foreign minister of Bahrain.

But not everybody was happy especially  fundamental Muslim websites who condemned Rima for bringing dishonour upon her family. Threats of the usual  fatwas followed immediately.

 the mostly Muslim Arab-Lebanon-American Miss America 2010  who  easily passes off as an African-American  to a regular American effectively ruins any chances of an African-American winning the 2011 tiara unless, of course, she is Muslim

"Well, modeling is fine as long as the woman is chastely covered up but we  have proof this girl has stripped at least once, pole danced and wore a bikini. Though i must add i haven't seen the photos  myself  and the footage because i think beauty pageants is toxic entertainment, what she did my colleagues say is not very good " said a representative of MIA[Muslims In America] Shahad Bilal who is considered a voice of moderation.

Rima's friends and family have chosen to ignore such threats and advised her to do the same and her uber-moderate parents reassured her she is a quasi Muslim i.e practicing both Islam and Christianity thus the fatwa does not hold.

Something else they have chosen to ignore is Bilal's incessant  calls to their family home to 'discuss a way out' in return for their daughter's hand in marriage- the proper Islamic way.


  1. Is Islam a race or a religion?

  2. Why do you say so @tutankhamun?

  3. Ochi i guess it's a thin line hehe :) they say there a difference between race and ethnicity- i still believe it's a thin line and something's blurring my vision i can't clearly see what am typing

  4. @ Beatrice oh! the GOP[Grand Ol' Party] i.e Republicans politicize everything and the writer's point is to make them look stupid-not to be taken seriously

  5. @tuta i cant understand a single word you say!

  6. Those sound like the ones who say Obama is Kenyan

  7. apologies Ochi, i tried my best; lemme put it another way seriously this time- it's actually neither. they say it's a way of life. @ Beatrice yup! we seem to read from the same script. hope you don't my lack of capitalization except for people's names- out of netiquette ;)