Thursday 22 April 2010

Next iPad Prototype Leaked, Found In Parking Lot

CUPERTINO,Ca- In what seemed to be a case of apparent carelessness  on the part of an alleged Apple employee a next generation iPad was reported lost and eventually found- in a parking lot.

A leading technology Weblog about  consumer electronics reportedly bought the next iPad from a recently convicted DUI, verily piss drunk seventeen year old college kid sobering up before he could drive himself home.

"I was wasted big time and my friend Jeff had taken a taxi after he could not find me either in the gents or the patio.So he left to report the matter at the local Sherri f department thinking,  in a state of intoxication i must add  i had been abducted by aliens" said Phil Daugherty the verily piss drunk seventeen year old  sophomore.
 The leaked next generation iPad smartly disguised as the now generation iPad

"Then alas! as i picked myself to  pee on the nearest tree this black shiny thing caught my eye and i immediately  realized i was standing in the presence of an Apple product" added Phil. 

Lost and found expert Sheriff Jorge Santori admitted there was a  possibility of Phil's statement containing a number of truths and half-truths especially given Phil's 'verily piss drunk state' and wondered how the vaulted, tight lipped  trade secret apparatus which is Apple security could turn  up in a parking lot.

" We are talking about major Men In Black security here.Those[Apple] guys don't just zap the memory of their costly products inventory you own but they also make a McZombie out of you" added the Sheriff.

Apple lawyers meanwhile demanded their device back and consequently applied for a gag order preventing any further mentioning, discussion or talk of their next big thing by regular Americans and any other 'unauthorized parties' until after Steve Jobs unveils it officially some time in the near future turtle neck style with black screens and all.

This did not prevent consumer gadgets conspiracy theorists from suspecting this was the 'iPad with wings' they've all been theorizing about after all there could  only one way it could have got out of the lab through, maybe, an air conditioning duct under repair and land on Cabro in one piece, in a not so near parking lot.

"Or worse still a window momentarily left open which i must  is very irresponsible of the engineer involved" said Adratos Makropoulos, an authority tech naysayer in the Bay area in a shortwave radio interview on WKNDY.

Efforts to reach the Apple CEO Steve Jobs hit a brick wall  as an irritated Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer responded "iPad,iPod,iSlut,iShit  i don't really care" when we asked for his opinion on the issue.




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Eneza

2 comments:

  1. Everybody knows that Apple sells old stuff in a new shell, not new stuff in an old shell. Must have been really Men in Blackberry, maybe the guy drank more then he knew!Nice stunt those Apple guyz did last time though, Starbucks must really make strong coffee, let me guess, Afghan Coffee/Poppie Blend?

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  2. ...haha!! Steve[lobs] is a good salesman Jay.California law says Giz broke the rules but as one guy observed how can Apple sue it's own marketing dept.

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