CUPERTINO,Ca- In what seemed to be a case of apparent carelessness on the part of an alleged Apple employee a next generation iPad was reported lost and eventually found- in a parking lot.
A leading technology Weblog about consumer electronics reportedly bought the next iPad from a recently convicted DUI, verily piss drunk seventeen year old college kid sobering up before he could drive himself home.
"I was wasted big time and my friend Jeff had taken a taxi after he could not find me either in the gents or the patio.So he left to report the matter at the local Sherri f department thinking, in a state of intoxication i must add i had been abducted by aliens" said Phil Daugherty the verily piss drunk seventeen year old sophomore.
"Then alas! as i picked myself to pee on the nearest tree this black shiny thing caught my eye and i immediately realized i was standing in the presence of an Apple product" added Phil.
Lost and found expert Sheriff Jorge Santori admitted there was a possibility of Phil's statement containing a number of truths and half-truths especially given Phil's 'verily piss drunk state' and wondered how the vaulted, tight lipped trade secret apparatus which is Apple security could turn up in a parking lot.
" We are talking about major Men In Black security here.Those[Apple] guys don't just zap the memory of their costly products inventory you own but they also make a McZombie out of you" added the Sheriff.
Apple lawyers meanwhile demanded their device back and consequently applied for a gag order preventing any further mentioning, discussion or talk of their next big thing by regular Americans and any other 'unauthorized parties' until after Steve Jobs unveils it officially some time in the near future turtle neck style with black screens and all.
This did not prevent consumer gadgets conspiracy theorists from suspecting this was the 'iPad with wings' they've all been theorizing about after all there could only one way it could have got out of the lab through, maybe, an air conditioning duct under repair and land on Cabro in one piece, in a not so near parking lot.
"Or worse still a window momentarily left open which i must is very irresponsible of the engineer involved" said Adratos Makropoulos, an authority tech naysayer in the Bay area in a shortwave radio interview on WKNDY.
Efforts to reach the Apple CEO Steve Jobs hit a brick wall as an irritated Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer responded "iPad,iPod,iSlut,iShit i don't really care" when we asked for his opinion on the issue.