Thursday, 20 December 2012


Following  Nelson Mandela’s  most  recent hospitalization major  competing  news  agencies spying on  him  were forced to review strategy.

A Reuters  source who requested anonymity due to the culturally sensitive nature of the topic admitted  there  being a plan B for “M-Plan” from the start in  anticipation for “Day-X” ; M-Plan referring to  general reportage preparations   incase of Mandela’s/Madiba’s death on day x.
AP spy  photo of Mandela's retirement home in Qunu, Eastern Cape Province

“Oh yeah, we have CCTV cameras trained towards the hospital as usual, and powerful  SLR’s  just awaiting  activation when the time comes--“Day X” could  just be  21/12/12. Epic scoop” added our source.

Asked if she was aware she was breaking South African law   she added as long as she was not caught filming anything   before his death, which she was not doing at the time of going to press then she had a pretty water tight case.

“If you think our activities are law breaking, you should  check out what  those  guys at AP are doing” she  concluded   referring to bank breaking tactics employed  by the Associated  Press which included  hiring nurses and other  “fixers”  to   capture The  inevitability using all means necessary.

Media houses often co-operate with each other but no, not this time. This is considered to be a huge event in a country where Mandela is revered as a Pope, Monarch and Statesman all rolled in one. 
This has not only driven up the asking price of quality informants   but most demand up to 60pc down payments   before taking position.
This has hit major broadcasters hard as there are no guarantees the target will succumb to inevitabilities in places they thought he would succumb to inevitabilities, places like his retirement home but most swear no expense will be spared.

“Obviously our option at the moment is to plant as many moles [in advance] in as many top hospitals just in case he has to transfer from the hospital he’s in right now to another for one reason or another. Yes  we have paid top Rand down payment  and yes we intend  to continue doing so for  as  long we have to because we believe the people of the world have the right to real time information and amateur  footage”  said Eugene DuPlessis an editor with a  top  local tabloid.

Asked whether outrageous anti competitive tactics like booking all hotel blocks in and around a hundred feet radius or block booking helicopters and helipads in the area to prevent others getting the aerial shot was still an option all agreed in unison.
As at the time of going to press, unconfirmed reports in twitter indicated Mandela was being flown to the United States for specialised treatment.


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