2010 FIFA WORLD CUP TO BE OUTSOURCED TO INDIA Pt. 2

..indeed the South African taxpayer will be the final winner as the mayors of both cities declared incentives like a percentage of the charges going towards arming  police who are on a shoot-to-kill order in helping combat inner city crime.

As events unfolded the Kenyan mission in Pretoria expressed disappointment at the decision and immediately filed a civil suit on behalf of the Kenyan government on the grounds of uninformed, unwise and  unfair selection practices on the part of the RSA.

The decision sparked a minor diplomatic row between the two countries with the Kenyan government demanding affirmative  action be a consideration.

" with Kenya being one of the rising BPO destinations in Africa it beats logic as to why we were passed over" decried H.E Ambassador Tom Amolo.  "i thought charity begins at home" he added.

Major  ISP's  in South Africa  complained bandwidth in Kenya was still expensive despite the landing of  the fiber cable. "This would make  live streaming economically non-viable"
a sentiment shared by an emerging  demography of computer hackers  in the country.

The other nation pissed off by this move was  Phillipines who came second in the selection process with the official reason being it was very far away and also an island  country  made up of many islands.It was figured ferrying players  from one island to play in the other might make  players sea sick. And what if a shark attacked.

But many Filipino believed it was because they had a female President; for the second time and South Africa being a macho society that was completely unacceptable.

The Kenyan case was reffered by a Magistrate's Court to a  Truth and Reconciliation Commision which was set up in record  72hrs which later dropped the case within hours of mention.

 The south african of Indian descent Chairman [of the commision]  Ravi Naidoo  descriibed the case as not being  quote, racist, bloody and/or unfair enough,  end quote to warrant the tax payers money for any truth or reconciliation.

Meanwhile, the Indian sports minister  Mani Shankar Aiyer said he  was confident the country's Cricket Arenas will be retrofitted and marked in good  time for the Football games.

FIFA President Sepp Blatter  still insisted there was no Plan B or Plan C. The only plan was to make the South African event a success.
©2009 newsync

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2010 FIFA WORLD CUP TO BE OUTSOURCED TO INDIA Pt. 1

With only seven months to go to the world's biggest footballing fiesta, earth moving machinery and construction cranes were still visible in some of the six out of ten new stadia under construction.

Organisers of the 2010 South Africa world cup had acknowledged the possibility of everything not being exactly spic and span for the arrival of the anticipated sea of humanity expected to descend on this country for a share of  the action of the 'game of millions.'

Thus the final decision to outsource at least part of the 'non-core' matches was arrived at during a high level retreat of top footballing officials in Sun City.

Soccer pundits in the country confirmed rumours that the Football Process Outsourcing[FPO] debate, coined after the term Business Process Outsourcing [BPO] had been doing rounds in the South Africa Football Association round table as early as April fools  2009.

But the issue wasn't taken; seriously until the unfolding of recent historical events.

The downing of tools and picking of big sticks by the 70,000 strong National Union of Mineworkers members in July for a 13percent increase in wages was a mind opener to the board members.

A brainstorming session was held in SAFA House Johannesburg since it was clear there was need for a 'Plan B'. The FBO subject was taboo to most as it meant capital flight, which led to job flight which led to social disobedience which in turn degenerated into violence and finally xenophobia.

Nevertheless a brave rookie administrative assistant brought up the issue and broke the myth. It was silently gazetted and when people found out, there was outrage.

The rookie was fired but many see him as a scapegoat.

"we were concerned and really, it doesn't take a partially blind man to see that we at SAFA House were operating on borrowed time and running behind schedule" explained Busoswane Vundlela an official.

" but again SAFA with the support of the government of Jacob Zuma would like to take this opportunity to assure all South Africans that the opening matches, semi finals and finals will be played in South Africa" he added, to moderate applause.

It was officially announced in the papers only, given the unpopular nature of the decision that all none core matches otherwise round one matches [with exceptions] will be played in  Hyderabad and Srinagar.

"that is where we could get the best per ninety-minute rates" said Victor Itumeleng FASA's strategic economics advisor.

"but we are open to economically competitive venue suggestions since it is a large country geographically and we are not so familiar with outsourcing football matches to India but again, nobody is" he added.

"and it goes without saying, the biggest winner here is the South African tax payer" he concluded

©2009 newsync




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Student cheats in Aptitude test

A high school student is under investigation by the Kenya National Aptitude Council [KNAC] for apparently cheating his way through an aptitude test. Aptitude, which is defined by Yahoo answers as being the natural inborn innate ability, competency and attitude to do something very well such as singing, acting, playing the Saxophone or doing Math was until recently believed to be cheat proof.

"And if these tests and investigations bring out the widely expected unexpected 'positive results', this will have a negative impact in our society." said Paul Kobbi spokesperson for KNAC. Lexicographers the world over are expected to fall over themselves redefining the word which for generations has been synonymous with natural gifts.

"this investigation will finally shame those Bodies of scientists and thinkers who still believe the aptitude test is an exact, foolproof science" said Luke McAskill co-founder of the What Man Can Do, Man Can Undo society of Wiltshire, a breakaway faction of the much larger Nothing Is Impossible Anymore society.
KNAC official were not readily available for comment following the embarrassment of a possible positive, or negative outcome-these words can be used interchangeably depending on which side of the divide you belong.

But later the Chairman of the council released a prepared statement to the press which described the National Council tests as quote, the most watertight in East Africa and the great lakes region, end quote.

There was mixed reaction with most students saying "it was not new news" as this confirmed a vice which has been going on since the inception of nation wide aptitude tests in the country to select only the best student's to join the Field and Track academies, Tennis academies, Cadet schools and CEO assistants.

Parents were dismayed and baffled at what the student was [maybe] capable of but some were quietly proud of their generation Y youngster's in general who happened to know it all about computers, hottest hunks on Venezuelan soap operas and mobile phone technology.

"It sometimes just blows my socks off at how much these kids know at such a tender age. I bet am a Neanderthal compared to them" said one parent, a teacher at a local high school on condition that his name not be published.

Parliamentarians sought the disbandment of KNAC followed by the creation of an interim KNAC to oversee the creation of a new KNAC. They also suggested a name change would be welcome since the current one sounded funny and made a mockery of their efforts to disband it's predecessor which was formed in 1980 through an Act of Parliament [CAP 225A] and other non-performing not-for-profit government institutions.

We also thought they had a knack for...

The teachers demanded the government ban students from carrying any mobile phones or suchlike electronic devices within a one kilometer radius of a school compound especially the ones which looked more expensive than theirs.

Parents disagreed saying they needed to know if their teenagers were doing it. And if they were, make sure they were safe. "Kidnappings are rife" said one parent.

The PTA[Parent Teacher's Association] is divided on the matter.

Merriam Webster's online dictionary is considering re-defining the word 'Aptitude' but made it clear Ineptitude, which means the quality or state of being inept; especially incompetence, still holds relevance.

©2009 newsync





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RAINPOWER Pt 2

eventually, the villagers politely declined.

as a tussle ensued as to which camp would predict timely rains, the government was getting nervous it might lose face amongst it's own people for not making accurate predictions or, maybe for even getting the whole thing wrong in the first place.

"the anticipated El-Niño rains might be something akin to the vision 2030, highly publicised, but hardly visible." speculated some.

Some journalists thought it could be a hoax, a public relations gimmick to...maybe keep the government's spin doctor in the job in this economic downturn, or keep the government running smoothly by oiling and cranking the propaganda machinery or maybe as the government spokesman noted, "a rumour mill powered by the galish winds of adversity of the [almost non-existent] opposition".

Meanwhile, while the government was busy choosing it's words carefully in order to come up with newer bluffs for the populace, the rainmaking camp seemed to be working with the seriousness, diligence, commitment, nimbleness and efficiency of the private sector.While the government was asking itself when, they were asking themselves the tougher question, what if?

What if the water we need so much doesn't come from above?

Then it will surely have to come from below. This prompted them to come up with a Plan B. Being the quick witted villagers they were, what with years rain making know- how passed from generation to generation verbally both parties realised the expert Dowsers, those people who find water underground by means of a forked branch, pendulum or wires were neither found in Kenya nor Tanzania.

South Africa was the place but it wasn't yet, clear how underground water would stop KPLC from implementing another round of blackouts, which in turn mean't the TV's won't turn on which in turn would make the women nag for missing out on DHW's- season 5 re-runs which to the rainmakers was the major issue.

"in Lagos they use Brushless Inverter EF2800i 2800watts/23.3amps. OHV-air cooled, four stroke, single cylinder 171cc 12v 8.3 Amp. 3gallon 19.0 by 15.5 by 16.7inch 2yr. warranty back-up Yamaha generators" said another well informed villager being careful not to mention the price.

The government dismissed dowsing as paranormal nonsense but privately feared it might just work.

That evening KBC's weatherman Ngetah Francois reported overcast over most of the the country, light showers in most parts of North Eastern with the El-Niño rains expected somewhere from November 31st followed immediately by the La-Niña not later than Feb.30th 2010.

©2009 newsync





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