Sunday, 22 November 2009

Student cheats in Aptitude test


A high school student is under investigation by the Kenya National Aptitude Council [KNAC] for apparently cheating his way through an aptitude test. Aptitude, which is defined by Yahoo answers as being the natural inborn innate ability, competency and attitude to do something very well such as singing, acting, playing the Saxophone or doing Math was until recently believed to be cheat proof.

"And if these tests and investigations bring out the widely expected unexpected 'positive results', this will have a negative impact in our society." said Paul Kobbi spokesperson for KNAC. Lexicographers the world over are expected to fall over themselves redefining the word which for generations has been synonymous with natural gifts.

"this investigation will finally shame those Bodies of scientists and thinkers who still believe the aptitude test is an exact, foolproof science" said Luke McAskill co-founder of the What Man Can Do, Man Can Undo society of Wiltshire, a breakaway faction of the much larger Nothing Is Impossible Anymore society.
KNAC official were not readily available for comment following the embarrassment of a possible positive, or negative outcome-these words can be used interchangeably depending on which side of the divide you belong.

But later the Chairman of the council released a prepared statement to the press which described the National Council tests as quote, the most watertight in East Africa and the great lakes region, end quote.

There was mixed reaction with most students saying "it was not new news" as this confirmed a vice which has been going on since the inception of nation wide aptitude tests in the country to select only the best student's to join the Field and Track academies, Tennis academies, Cadet schools and CEO assistants.

Parents were dismayed and baffled at what the student was [maybe] capable of but some were quietly proud of their generation Y youngster's in general who happened to know it all about computers, hottest hunks on Venezuelan soap operas and mobile phone technology.

"It sometimes just blows my socks off at how much these kids know at such a tender age. I bet am a Neanderthal compared to them" said one parent, a teacher at a local high school on condition that his name not be published.

Parliamentarians sought the disbandment of KNAC followed by the creation of an interim KNAC to oversee the creation of a new KNAC. They also suggested a name change would be welcome since the current one sounded funny and made a mockery of their efforts to disband it's predecessor which was formed in 1980 through an Act of Parliament [CAP 225A] and other non-performing not-for-profit government institutions.

We also thought they had a knack for...

The teachers demanded the government ban students from carrying any mobile phones or suchlike electronic devices within a one kilometer radius of a school compound especially the ones which looked more expensive than theirs.

Parents disagreed saying they needed to know if their teenagers were doing it. And if they were, make sure they were safe. "Kidnappings are rife" said one parent.

The PTA[Parent Teacher's Association] is divided on the matter.

Merriam Webster's online dictionary is considering re-defining the word 'Aptitude' but made it clear Ineptitude, which means the quality or state of being inept; especially incompetence, still holds relevance.

©2009 newsync


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