Showing posts with label Tanzania. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tanzania. Show all posts

Friday, 15 January 2010

Tanzania 'disappointed' at being passed over by an eclipse that passed over the Indian Ocean,

The Tanzanian government expressed disappointment over a Solar eclipse spectacle which showed up in all East African countries but their own.

"Saying we are disappointed is actually a polite way of saying we're angry which in turn is a lesser polite way of saying we're mad" said Mrs. Shamsa Mwangunga, Tanzania's Tourism minister, unconsciously bringing out the polite, hospitable and diplomatic nature of the Tanzanian people at large.

The Solar eclipse which was initially hyped by the country's media to pass by obviously didn't live up. Though scientific co-ordinates argued otherwise and blamed the media, the radio people claimed the pressure was unbearable.

" How do you start telling 38 million plus people they won't see the moon come between the sun and the earth while right in their backyard their neighbours are being told otherwise huh! tell me" said Saidi Bemba a local radio jockey.

" this is a once in a blue moon stuff they only see on tv and newspapers. And the breaking news it will also be sighted in Somalia was not very helpful" he added.

"Our country's location is 6°18′25″S 34°51′14″E / 6.307°S 34.854°E / -6.307; 34.854 and was clearly on the eclipse's flight path i believe" reiterated the Commander-in-Chief Jakaya Mrisho Kikwete quoting some prepared Ministry of Defence co-ordinates.

" what have we done to the moon and/or sun god to deserve this kind of planetary alienation" he added rubbing his eyes with a hankie.

Renowned medicine men had no ready answers either as they said it was too early and even dangerous to consult the Mizimu [Oracles] immediately.

"let their anger dissipate after a while".



      they will have to wait till 3043.Hopefully their legendary patience will serve them well

But word from the Lake Victoria towns of Mwanza and Shinyanga allege it has something to do with the targeted "maltreatment" and/or "profiling" of people of little or no pigmentation.

The government denies these as baseless superstition.

Some even blame the Kenyan citizens for stealing from them this golden opportunity of not only seeing the sun and moon coming together in a tango but the associated tourist revenues in hotel bookings and sale of home made Polaroid eclipse watching sun glasses.

"well, am not sure how they would have pulled it off. Maybe nudge our country slightly to the south east from the Vanga border post-while we were fast sleep or taking a siesta of course, or pulled a string here or there...nevertheless, i wouldn't be surprised to hear our greedy neighbours had a role to play in this interplanetary conspiratory dance" said Balozi Mwapumbu a Clam fisherman in a characteristic poetic prose of the Oysabey[swahili corruption of Oyster Bay] residents,through our translator.

The Kenyan Ambassador to Tanzania denied there was any mistrust or bad blood real or imagined between them and their polite neighbours with whom they share a wonderful common national language and immediately moved to point out the swift progress of integration talks of the East African Community.

"When we become one block of intertwined economies, there will be no losers... really. We get an eclipse, you don't; we're brothers we share"

As reassuring as the Ambassador's words sounded, the facts on the ground remained the same and ordinary Tanzanians will have to contend with the fact they will have to wait a millenium for another 11minutes 3seconds pass, maybe.

The gods will have to throw a dice!!


©2010 newsync


Kenyan Blogs Webring Member


Eneza

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Eritrean footballers diasppear in Kenya

 It has come to our attention [rather  late i must say] that a dozen Eritrean footballers have disappeared zap!  like a magicians trick,  into thin air after their CECAFA match in Nairobi. It is unclear why they pulled the disappearing act but being kicked out of the tournament has not been ruled out yet the main  reason.

the team in a file photo camouflaged as the Super Eagles. Okay guys, here's the plan. We all change our names to Dennis Oliech

" i was waiting for them at the terminal on the day of departure, well as it appeared i waited, and waited and waited and waited; it was like waiting for Godot thats when it dawned on me nobody, not a single one of them was to show up" said Salum Wedi-Regbe  their tour guide.

" one or two individuals that's okay but a whole team, this sounds like a conspiracy and i bet the Ethiopians have something to do with this" he added.

Though the players have broken the law, the  foreign minister assured them no legal or inhumane disciplinary action will be taken on  their return [if they return at all that is].

Cecafa secretary general a mister Musonye described the incident as unfortunate but assured their coach the players were within the country indeed Nairobi.

" we think they are hiding somewhere with the intention of going somewhere or just intending to remain here" he added.

Unconfirmed reports confirm that the players had approached the UNHCR-Nairobi offices to apply for political asylum.

Absconding  is not a new phenomenon in the world of sport or indeed African soccer since we always have cases of third world players going underground whenever they travel for international matches in developed countries.

"What makes the Eritrean experience unique is the fact that they 'awol' as it were in a third world country, from a third world country in the same continent and geographical region; East Africa" said  Niklaus Brandt a footballing scout.

" and it doesn't help that Nairobi already has a sizable population of people of Ethiopian and Eritrean heritage; this helps them blend so well like tea with milk. C'mon guys, these two people are not that different" he added.

Taking into consideration that Eritrea is a breakaway republic of Ethiopia, like South Ossetia is to Georgia it's hard to argue.

This is not the first time though; they did it the last time they lost their quarter final Cecafa match 4-0 to Tanzania, in Tanzania and pulled a fast one in Uganda too.

In other news, the Sri-Lanka national  handball team members who disappeared in Germany five years ago have not been found but that's a story for tommorow.

The oddball is, Sri-Lanka didn't even know of their disappearance because it doesn't even have a national handball team.

©2009 newsync


Kenyan Blogs Webring Member


Eneza