A fortnight after Obama's State of the Union, President wishes...

 Sources close to the head of state of the United States revealed Wednesday that the President's  wish for his first state of the Union address was not   having to explain his achievements for the roughly past twelve months to the electorate.

 For the first time in a long time, white house eye-witnesses observed the CiC[Commander in Chief] balked at the prospect of approaching the collapsible podium, clutching  both edges firmly and glancing tactically at the teleprompters to give an amazing speech on what he  has done for his great country thus far.

“ I mean, seriously,the guy is in his element at the podium, a spoken word artiste;waxing lyrical and giving hope to the hopeless- pretty much like a shark is in it's element in  brackish waters” said a White house intern who requested anonymity.

“ I don't know what's happening but that  Kennedy seat loss must have really got into him”.

Many State of the Union address experts  were careful not to rush into conclusions about the President's   nervousness in anticipation for his first major address about the health of the country's 50 states as widely circulated by  conservative news sources but they were fair enough to give the benefit of a doubt.

“ I think to rehearse the Union address on a cheap collapsible Podium was classless crass  at  best and irresponsible at worst . To muster the confidence of a head of state you ought to stand behind a  handcrafted, perfectly cured Redwood Podium. Not some mass market collapsible unless,of course you want some wind taken off your sails-and cheeks too” said a sixty something  Chicagoan State of the Union address expert.

Some experts begged to disagree with the sixty something expert as they considered  his argument way off the mark.

“This is not about the Podium, it's about delivery. Obama has done nothing that I like” said Scott Muffindahl 69, a Glendale, Arizonian and a full time, fully certified  Union address speeches analyst since retirement  though no official documentation was provided as proof as he claimed he was peer certified and also  acting chairman of the OpposingObama.org.

Even though the latest job loss figures are down, contrary to critical acclaim, the President still faces difficult tasks both at home and abroad  like promising aid to Africa and  bringing change to America.

Apparently, bringing change is not  the  toughest job after all as [advisor] David Plouffe noted  but explaining the meaning of the word to an attention deficit, God fearing majority,  fundamentalist minority and  a growing Atheist, Agnostic demography was the main challenge.

“hedonism not withstanding, with almost acelebrity following across the board” added Plouffe.

A WhiteHouse.gov posting hinted it was investigating the possibility  of  a 30 second spot commercial at  Super Bowl, just to make sure the majority got it. 


©2010 newsync





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