What Would Jesus Drive

 Since the CCC[Copenhagen Climate Conference] delegates and world leaders  failed to reach any legally  binding agreement, several  religious leaders and organisations   have taken it upon themselves to educate and scare unsuspecting people  into  taking the environmental issue seriously.

One of the leading groups in this global struggle to  reverse the effects of climate change is the Evangelical Environmental Network[EEN] an American non-profit  guided by the principle "WWJD" -with the bracelet and all.

" As of now i think we should settle for the  hybrids we have like the popular Prius and the Honda Civic Hybrid as we wait for our motor industry to pick itself up, dust itself off and finally move the fully electric concept Chevy Volt from the drawing board to the show room" said  Rev. Jim Ball PhD. Senior Director Climate Campaign EEN.

"Jesus understands our technological weaknesses in the car business and i believe he would gladly cruise in those Japanese toys till we come up with our zero emission versions of those Japanese toys. And yes i have a dream we will convince him with our drive America, build America pitch" he added.

The marketing people at Tesla motors contended no self respecting son of the most high would want to be associated with a  company in the red as bison meat as General Motors.

"touch me not you loss making corporation'  that's what we'd expect"   said Elon Musk  a major shareholder who hinted the Tesla Roadster would be more appealing to a man-god of his status.

But historians and behavioral scientist taking into  account   Christs carpenter class upringing, frugal lifestyle and humble demeanour   doubted he will go for such an expensive EV[electric Vehicle] no matter how much it pleased the EPA[Environmenta Potection Agency People].

"Despite  his  uber upper upper  heavenly class and  social status, Immanu'el was able to show extraordinary, almost paranormal levels of ordinariness and profound humility" said Prof. Linda Veerhofstaadt  a behavioral Scientist  at  Bethlehem University.

As endless confusing offers of all types of generous mpg   and nature friendly vehicles of every shape, size and design poured in, things were getting complicated and [environmental] experts and eco-car sales people had a difficult job  recommending the best car for the Messiah.

The Vatican proposed the pope mobile while India pointed out the strong points  of the Tata nano.

It is widely speculated Jesus has always had a liking  for a Honda but for his modesty didn't like to talk about it.  In the Gospel of st. John, he is on record  saying " i did not speak of my own Accord".

the modern day 2009 Colt, son of man's choice of mobility. Archangel Michael would be jealous

And  in a predictable fashion of 'follow the leader', all the apostles were known to car pool in a Honda  since it is written  "and  all the apostles were in one Accord"

Twenty first century scholarly findings however  show  Jesus finally settled for a  Mitsubishi Colt, a little known super mini. For Mathew chap. 21 verse 2:3 says it all and i quote

" Saying unto them ye shall find an ass tied, and  a Colt with her. loose them and bring them unto me. And if any  man say ought unto you, ye shall say, the Lord hath need of them and straight away he will send them"

Ok, the [car sales] is our thought to thought translation in order to put everything in a 21st century context for purposes of easy understanding without altering the original meaning.

But we now know the son of man would neither drive a gas guzzler nor a hybrid or an all electric but the humble mini of an 'obscure Japanese brand ' as the Americans would put it.

This further goes to show  " for God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son. Whosoever  believeth in him shall not perish[like the Dinosaur or the Amazon forest] but have everlasting life".

By which time Rev. Ball jumped in and swiftly concluded "for he was not sent to condemn the world, but to save it [from humans]"  John 3:16


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