Barrack Obama's first fantastic thankless Thanksgiving speech P t. 2

and  am not gonna duck the hot potato issues either as my Republican post commentary critics say.. They say every politician  is a liar and the only truthful politican was Truman because he said “the buck stops here”.

Well, my fellow Americans am the re-incarnation of the truth. Your messiah who is going to deliver affordable health care and set you free from the  shackles of  under-insurance by those big  health insurers.

And for the 46.3million  uninsured Americans out there, your day is come. You can now afford to get sick.

I also understand you're sick  of that eyesore Guantanamo bay. Well, maybe not all of you but  I know my friends in the not-for-profits and grassroots can't stand it and that's what matters. I'll need their influence  and of course money come 2013 and thats all that is important.

Am closing that Gulag  and even though I  admit I might miss my January 2010 deadline I know  can and we will shut it down as soon as possible probably before 2011. Never mind theres some construction of a block going on  now or, maybe I said a similar thing last year but I still have this gut feeling  that we can.

And to the Cuban-Americans, this will be a thanksgiving to be truly thankful for. Number one, me  as your President and number two, It was also about the time Fidel Castro got really sick. I would not   advocate Obamacare for him if I were you  and to put it frankly I don't take it kindly on competition  especially when it comes to delivering  speeches.

Number three, I might just wake up one morning and decide the embargo thing is off, the ball is in your 'other' leader's court. And you might even be able to send as many dollars as you  can send  back to your relatives in Cuba- or have I done that already.

Our hand is still  stretched out to you but it might just grow numb and lose it's feel if it stays that way for too long and  I bet you don't wanna know what might follow next. Am not making threats here, this is tough love. You know yourselves and damn!! am not even talking to Americans anymore on this   very American holiday. I guess it just goes to prove we are the  world.

Peeps!! hope i have covered  Domestic, Foreign, Economic and..i think I must have  left out  the environment but  I promise to get back to it after Copenhagen December 9th.

Busy schedule, gotta go my subjects but be sure to follow  my State of the Union weekly  addresses   on VOA  and  News Ync.and may God Bless America.

Now to the more pressing matters of that  sweet potato pie, coconut cream and lemon meringue.

©2009 newsync





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Barrack Obama's first fantastic Thanksgiving speech P t. 1

there you go, the amazing transcript

People of America I salute you. And of course people of the world lest you feel left out.

But again America is the world and the world is America.

First of all ignore the header. This is not my first thanksgiving gig. I did the first one when I was President-elect anybody remember? Okay , hands down now double Davids you know yourselves and if you thought it was the bomb!! wait til it comes out the Speech synthesizer this winter.

Talking of bombs we got many of those IED blasts scaring the shit out of our brave infantry men up there in the Middle East. But like I said they are brave and shouldn't be scared of some shitty fertilizer over-the-internet assembled bombs. In the same breath am informed their families want them back home by thanksgiving.

Don't they just care about the Afghani and Iraqi women and children

I apologise I couldn't make that happen and am sorry as your Commander-in-Chief I will have to request you my fellow countrymen another favor. I can see your surprised looks staring at the television screen and I hear you asking yourselves “what favor could the most powerful black man on earth possibly want from a mere Yankee.”

Well, don't be surprised. Am not special, am much like you-just like my predecessor was much like you.

And to prove it am about to ask the same favor as no. 43 .

Ladies and gentlemen your great country once again needs you. Maybe not you, yes you couch potato. Lounging stupidly on that La-z-boy sporting a beer belly, clutching a Heineken bottle on your left hand and the remote control on your right.

Or you ma'am, with the Michelin man neck.

Not that America don't need people like you. Of course we do. We need you to create McJobs as part of the stimulus but as of now we will definitely do with your nerdy community college kid enlisting.

Bring out your well toned boyfriends, NRA husbands, your daughters and almost anybody who can hold a shotgun and not shoot himself on the foot, or a fellow Countryman; do you hear me vice president Biden .

After all guns don't kill people. People kill pheasants.

 ©2009 newsync





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Obama is thankful to them

Barack H. Obama II thanked them for making him President and Commander in chief of their armed forces. “as we mark this day I want to thank you all especially you; yes you the honest, hardworking middle class you for electing me the 44th President of your great nation” he started halfway towards the podium.

After the speech was over the nation stood from their couches and on their feet in front of the telly and gave him a huge round of applause which could have brought the roof down.

Later on he gave a press conference in the press room which revealed a lot of unsaid stuff the President really wanted to say to his subjects but time!!

On domestic issues he he really wanted to let them know how Bo Obama, their Portuguese Water Dog was unbeatable in Frisbee but I realised I could not squeeze it in because Bo looked much like my initials in the teleprompter and might just say it in full.


“I've had a slip of the tongue before” he said. “besides the first dog had no competition anyway and I would appear petty' he added.

“My swinging has improved a lot since I started hitting the links with the help of my assistant White House chef. Though I tied with Bush but I thought it'd be nice if they knew I beat Biden” he said. Am planning the same with McCain” he added obviously downplaying John McCain's golf playing experience.

But he deviated and made it known it was not only what he wanted to say but Sasha had something for 'them' as well “ look here Sasha made this handprint turkey”.

There's just so much to say [and show] with very little time” he added. Homeland security agreed.


On foreign policy, he said he regretted letting 'them' in on his trip to Mecca to give moral support to her grandmother Sarah Obama.

she will be part of those pilgrims and she won't have to worry about any swine flu in Arabia. Secret service will be there too; in disguise of course and who knows we might join in the act- you know, for old time's sake” Said Obama.

“There was so much fantastic stuff io didn't put in that speech that I would have put in that speech and make people applaud even louder till the their hands hurt.” said Obama as he pulled his wrist and slanted his head to glance at his TAG-Heuer.

“There is so much I could have told you guys but I cannot plus what I just told you which I did not but ought to have included in that brilliant speech to make it the greatest thanksgiving speech ever but boy, doesn't time fly.”

Critics criticised the 'Ought -To- Be -Included -But -Which -Was -Not-Be-Of-Time parts of the speech' for dwelling on the 'soft side of real life issues'.


We could not publish the transcript [or at least the edited version of the speech now] but it should be available as soon as Jonathan 'Jon' Favreau
is done editing his un-'Fav' parts.


©2009 newsync





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2010 FIFA WORLD CUP TO BE OUTSOURCED TO INDIA Pt. 2

..indeed the South African taxpayer will be the final winner as the mayors of both cities declared incentives like a percentage of the charges going towards arming  police who are on a shoot-to-kill order in helping combat inner city crime.

As events unfolded the Kenyan mission in Pretoria expressed disappointment at the decision and immediately filed a civil suit on behalf of the Kenyan government on the grounds of uninformed, unwise and  unfair selection practices on the part of the RSA.

The decision sparked a minor diplomatic row between the two countries with the Kenyan government demanding affirmative  action be a consideration.

" with Kenya being one of the rising BPO destinations in Africa it beats logic as to why we were passed over" decried H.E Ambassador Tom Amolo.  "i thought charity begins at home" he added.

Major  ISP's  in South Africa  complained bandwidth in Kenya was still expensive despite the landing of  the fiber cable. "This would make  live streaming economically non-viable"
a sentiment shared by an emerging  demography of computer hackers  in the country.

The other nation pissed off by this move was  Phillipines who came second in the selection process with the official reason being it was very far away and also an island  country  made up of many islands.It was figured ferrying players  from one island to play in the other might make  players sea sick. And what if a shark attacked.

But many Filipino believed it was because they had a female President; for the second time and South Africa being a macho society that was completely unacceptable.

The Kenyan case was reffered by a Magistrate's Court to a  Truth and Reconciliation Commision which was set up in record  72hrs which later dropped the case within hours of mention.

 The south african of Indian descent Chairman [of the commision]  Ravi Naidoo  descriibed the case as not being  quote, racist, bloody and/or unfair enough,  end quote to warrant the tax payers money for any truth or reconciliation.

Meanwhile, the Indian sports minister  Mani Shankar Aiyer said he  was confident the country's Cricket Arenas will be retrofitted and marked in good  time for the Football games.

FIFA President Sepp Blatter  still insisted there was no Plan B or Plan C. The only plan was to make the South African event a success.
©2009 newsync

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